WHY?
Why? This is a question I’ve asked myself de novo. Why? And I was left thinking for a while, not knowing what I’m thinking about. But one consistent thought process was the disturbing craving for Amarula. I guess I just wasn’t ready to answer it, or rather think about it. I do that quite often. I pretend. I pretend it’s not important. Or maybe it’s postponing. I’m not sure what it is exactly that I do, but the wise would say it’s not wise. I’m sure. It works out for me though, well, so far. Anyway, back to the “why?”. Oops, I’ve just realized I haven’t given you the context. So the million dollar question is why I had started a blog.
Why? I thank….. (a sporadic but failing attempt for humor requiring the knowledge of a certain lame joke. I’m too lazy to tell it)... OK then, I meant to write “thought”. So I thought for a while and I came to the realization that the only reason I had started this blog was coz of the pushing I got from these two friends of mine, God bless them. Why? Why did they? Do they know me better than I do myself? Or did they just want to see how I’d do? Better yet, were they looking for some calibration to gauge themselves? Did they conspire? Why? Oh yes, sorry to say, but these thoughts actually crossed my mind. Then, everything changed, right after that one cig. I’m not campaigning for cigarette smoking. It’s funny how no single smoker will ever tell you to do it. I think that’s the magic behind it. Forbidden fruit. I tend to fall for such. Anyway, I realized I had given in a lil bit too early, before actually finding a reason to. So I’m sitting there, feeling sorry for myself, and trying to answer that now-so-heavy query, “why?”, when BAM! Epiphany! A realization of one’s self!
It just hit me, right there in the face, like the way a (poor) bird hits the windscreen of a speeding bus. I EFFING LIKE CHALLENGES! I fall for them face first. If all was a challenge, I’d be so effing good at everything. Case in point: school (that’s primary and high school), we had numbers from the top achievers to the bottom ones. And it was a competition, not necessarily for good grades, but for that prestigious top position, number one! I need not point out the number I got, almost all through, lest I’m mistaken for a brag. I will just say that it’s a really small number, not a prime number, and requires little effort to write down. I’m thinking I wouldn’t prosper in something that’s not a challenge. You know, a competition. I like winning. Or trying to. I don’t like working for something in which I wouldn’t win. That’s a bad trait, I know. Say for example, if I opened a bank account for my savings, I wouldn’t save much. I’m inclined, matter-of-factly, to think I wouldn’t save at all. But if someone agrees to compete with me, based on how much one would save, I would so beat them, saving like my life depends on it.
So yeah, I accepted a challenge and it’s led me to ‘stumble upon’ some self-realization. I think the hope of stumbling upon such good fruits, the whole hope thing unknown to me before now, was what led me to take up the much challenges I have (taken up). I’ve done that a lot.
A LOT!
So this is me preaching challenge acceptance. This is me telling a drowning man in a fast flowing river to not clutch at the useless grass blades but to let the current take them, to let themselves go with the flow (I sound so wise, right? Please say yes. Really? But I rhymed!). At some point it’ll take them to a floating log or a low-hanging life-saving branch of a tree. It happens in movies, it must have been inspired by frequently occurring real life experiences. Ok maybe not so frequent.
So should I have a theme (a “why?”), also read, a reason, for my blog? Some use it a diary, some post news, some post some gossip. What about me? I know. I will leave mine as a blank. Anything can be filled in. yeah.
(I wrote this in exactly 33 minutes. I’m still craving Amarula. Haven’t had some in God knows how long. So well wishers out there, I can give you my shipping address.)
Till next time, Adios. You have anything to say, anything, you know where the comment section is.
3 comments:
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Art-Droid on 1 July 2011 at 10:04 said...
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I bet you can't stop writing now! I'm not daring you to, just saying I doubt you can. :p
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Jonzy on 2 July 2011 at 00:47 said...
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Art-Droid on 2 July 2011 at 04:09 said...
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Inspiration is not automatic for everyone, but given what I experienced, I was sure it would have the same effect on you.
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